The ‘No BS’ Strapless Bra Guide
From nipple visibility to hotness scale, and of course the all-essential comfort and fit – our writer Sophie has devised a genuis rating scale to find your perfect strapless bra. Will you go for a Fitty McSmokin’ look or more of a Sexy Housewife fit? Read on and find out!
The current trends at the mo – Bardot tops, spaghetti straps and cut-out tops/dresses, all have one thing in common: you deffo need a strapless bra.
The No-BS Strapless Bra Guide
If you’re on the smaller side and can go braless (aka HEAVEN) you can rejoice in the trends, maybe shove on some nipple covers, and you’re good to go. Or you can get away with bargain strapless bras. If you’re a bit more awkwardly shaped – like lots of us are, because boobs come in all shapes and sizes – you might struggle a bit more.
I tested out some of the strapless bras on the market to scout out the best support, and even came up with my own review system…
Wacoal Halo Moulded Strapless Bra, £35
I’ve never heard of this brand, but it was on sale. I wasn’t expecting to like this and it didn’t look supportive at all. But I tried it on – and shut the front door, I look pretty hot?! Despite no actual cups, the underwiring and Lycra made it quite supportive. The lacy material somehow looked sexy despite it being nude (the ugliest colour to exist, minus grey/white undies that once were white). Probably because it was basically see-through. The drawback was the material wasn’t thick enough, so it was nips galore. You’d be screwed on a brisk day (aka every day in the UK). I had to go for a different size as mine wasn’t in stock, but as it fit really well still.
Nipple visibility: * Stops traffic
Fit: *** Surprisingly comfy
Support: ** Dancing yes, horse riding no
Hotness: **** Fitty McSmokin’
Best worn: On a hot, sweaty day on a hot date
John Lewis Simone Moulded Strapless Bra, £30
I was so excited about this as it looked so pretty on the hanger, and was a pale pink lace. Much more flattering than hearing-aid-beige (aka nude). It was reasonably priced too and thick enough to not start a nipple-gate affair. Sadly it just didn’t suit my shape, I was gutted. I’d recommend this if you prefer a balcony shaped bra and don’t mind not having a plunge cleavage.
Nipple visibility: **** No bullets
Fit: ** Try a few sizes
Support: *** Twerking possible
Hotness: *** Sexy housewife fit
Best worn: When you want the perfect combination of cute/sexy (and yes that is a quote from Ryan Gosling in Crazy, Stupid Love)
Wonderbra new Ultimate Strapless Bra, £36
This comes in different colours, oooo ahhh. But it is the scariest looking bra EVER. For a start, it looks frigging huge. I ordered one back size up, but it looked like two fruit bowls. Looks were deceiving though, as actually the bottom 5cm of the bra are just flat metal support. As I’m not entering a battle anytime soon it felt OTT, but good if your boobs are mahoosive. It’s quite plunging so you could get away with some cleavage, although the cups came up a bit high. It has some weird technology with rubber silicon dots to stay up and “hand technology”. No idea why I’d want tiny creepy child-like three fingered hands groping my boobs but clearly someone at Wonderbra thought it was a good marketing ploy. I did actually like this bra support-wise and great shape, but it felt a bit pretentious and ridiculous.
Nipple visibility: **** Quite literally no bullets getting through this bra
Fit: *** Try a back size up
Support: ***** bungee jump doing a backflip
Hotness: ** Without clothes on it’s the Bridget Jones pants version of a bra
Best worn: In a Game of Thrones battle
Freya Deco Darling Strapless Bra, £40
I love this brand so just ordered my usual size which fit perfectly (or so I thought). The cream colour looks really pretty and the shape worked perfectly. It seemed ridiculously supportive with a thick band and thick cups, and stays up. Running for the train in the morning felt like a dream, I was hurdling over bin bags. However after actually wearing this for a while, it turned out to be quite tight and chafed the minute I ate as much as a grape. So much so, I ended up buying a fat-back extender to make it a bit wider. They’re mega cheap and you can just have a chubbster day and not feel so confined to a boob cage, hurrah! The support dropped a notch, but it’s miles comfier and didn’t make my ridiculous splurge a waste of money.
Nipple visibility: **** Say turrah to nipplegate
Fit: ** try different sizes before you buy
Support: **** Olympic triple jump
Hotness: *** Fit but not too try hard
Best worn: When you’re not at an all-you-can-eat buffet
In hindsight when I read lots of reviews of strapless bras they say try a back size up as they make them tighter to stay up. And my experiment has proved this. I think it’s flipping daft, as it just makes you feel fatter and is just uncomfortable, how about just MAKE THEM IN THE RIGHT SIZE.
For now I’ll be hopping, skipping and jumping along in my strapless bra until I get home and release them from boob jail.
Have you got any strapless bra recommendations? Share with us – @tweetjanes.